Trauma Really Messed Up My Creative Work
Careful, don’t be real, don’t make a mistake, don’t show your vulnerabilities to anyone.
This past weekend, I spent time with heaps of people. Family, friends that are like family, church family and such. Weddings, lunches, brunches, work and all the good things!
There were people everywhere which was totally awesome and also my body kept freaking the freak out.
I’m not used to being around people anymore. Since living in rural Idaho, I have fallen in this style of living as the lonely.
Not just alone, lonely.
In my mind, there is a significant distinction.
Being alone is an experience of exploration. It is being full and wholly yourself.
Being lonely on the other hand is a grueling isolation.
Trauma tells you that loneliness is the best way. It whispers lies like, “You’ll be safer alone.” and “You’re hurting others with your pain.” and “Shhh keep the non-commercialized parts of your humanity to yourself.
Trauma tells me that no one wants my creativity, my words or my company.
Trauma tells me that the pain of loneliness is all that I deserve.
Trauma tells me that I cannot ever get out of this pain and it must follow me forever.
Trauma tells me lies every day and all the time.
Changing the thoughts about trauma is such a key part of healing.
You will not be stuck here forever.
The world is missing out on your voice, message and heart.
The most important thing that you can do is heal yourself. Whatever it takes to make you a full, healthy human being who is capable of living a life of self-love and service (these things are not opposing values).
We’re all healing on some level. Let’s get the wounds out into the open air and start getting better together.
Thank you so much for reading, friends! What’s your experience with trauma & creativity? I’d love to hear it! You can also find me on Instagram. I snap photos for memories and write pretty long captions about random stuff. Be sure to say hi! :)