The challenge to stop the self-obsession of performance anxiety & just start living. — This is the blog I’ve been aching to start for years. Yes, literally years. Did I? Nope. Did I even let myself read, write and enjoy food as much as I wanted? Hell nope. Okay if you know me in real life, you may know that I have a thing…

Yes, I love sniffing the lumber up close and personal. Go ahead, judge me. — There’s a siren voice in home construction sites that calls to me. I don’t know whether it’s the possibilities ahead or the wonderful peace after everyone has left. (Perhaps it’s some magical combination of the two) But it draws me to it like the magnet on one of those huge…

Southeast Asia changed more than my view of the world — it changed my tastebuds forever. — Rice was not a pleasant part of my childhood food experiences. The stuff seemed like sticky goo. I hated it. It was usually brown. A little mushy. Generally flavorless. Growing up with the strong Ameri-Finn immigrant tradition of meat, potatoes and pasty (our own version of meat pies. They’re AMAZING.)…

The addictive pull between love and control. — It’s a sweet ache of delusion Your smile, those lips, a bit of stubble roughening out the whole look Then you toss your hair to the side, along with my sense of pride I don’t know Why you strike me this way There’s just warm fudge left of my brain …

There I was, bringing a bird to Ma like a good dog! — Ah fresh snow! What a perfect morning it is! It’s an even more delightful addition to my morning patrol and sniff checks of the property. You can really smell the birds in the snow! I’m always looking for one to bring to Ma. The blindness makes it difficult to chase…

Sometimes there is more harm in looking at the bright side. — There is selfishness of optimism In the middle of a cold, dark night of soul, I began to wonder — why I am so selfish with my pain and broken stories? The hoarding of the stories keeps me from connecting to you. Life is hard, horrible, beautiful and one day, it will be sweet. Where…

Ideas are just seeds of faith. — Life has been teaching me lately that it offers you two choices. Generosity and trust in the process. Or hoarding and the fear that dogs your every breath. That sounds pretty airy-fairy? Yeah. So let’s break it down. If you were given $20 and had no promise of ever getting…

And how to set some good boundaries! — Once upon a not-too-long-ago time… I was this innocent homeschooled (once a homeschool, always a homeschooler. It’s like the Marines but much less cool.) sheltered, innocent little girl. I spent my days studying, climbing trees, reading books also in trees. My siblings and I were sheltered beyond any reasonable belief…

I want to speak, but you strike me mute. — Listen How I wish you were here Or that I had spoken the right words When you stood next to me But I can’t help it It’s so easy to get lost In the sound of your words And the language of your lips When you laugh from across the…